ah screw it...trying to think of something to type here butcan't quite figure out what. In any case, did I mention that I'm trying to pick up the art of music...and by music I mean the guitar? Well, I am...

This world is such a complicated place. I know that is an understatement. Human beings are complicated creatures, and that is what makes us different from other living things. It is not our conscience or rational or sense of philosophy and reflection, but the fact that we are all so fucking messed up inside is what makes us special. Our thought processes are nothing more than a step in a particular direction in an evolutionary sense, a step that any animal might have taken.
No, no...that's not what makes us stand out. We have something else that no other creaturess possess......the amazing ability to fuck ourselves up, and i mean it purely in the metaphorical sense. This has nothing to do with asexual reproduction. People are all brilliant at one thing and that is to create their own problems for themselves and dig their own graves.
There must be a gene inside us that, when activated, tells us complicate matters as much as possible. We have all kinds of shit that we don't need in life.... like power, religion, race, money, and a whole load of crap.
Why the fuck do we all crave power? Why does a lawyer want to make partner, why do politicians wage wars? When there is power in a person's hand, it only seems to make them want more. Power over other people, other living creatures.
Here we are, in all our arrogance, debating on whether or not we should stop animal testing. Fuck, who do we think we are? We say that we chouldn't stop performing tests on animals because it brings a lot of benefits to us humans... hell, if it is so important, why not just test it on ourselves? WHy do people act with authority over others, when they know that others don't really want it and would feel better without it? Why do bosses like to push their workers around as if they had the right to do so? Why do some people act so self righteous and command others to live the way they want to?
And the thing about religion and race....that is just so darn messed up. We fight wars becuase of religion, kill each other because of religion, destroy lives because of religion and race. What's the whole point? Why have these two things in the first place? If we can allow different groups to have different faiths, why can't we just allo every single individuals to have their own personal beliefs without intruding and disrespecting them? Faith should be a private thing, yes? It shouldn't be preached or judged right? So, why do some of us tell other people that their faith is wrong? that their god/gods are wrong? Why the fuck do preachers exist?
Then we have money...the root of all evil that is nonetheless held in high honour by mankind. Can someone please explain this big fat joke to me? cause I simply can't see it. Why are we all so greedy? We think we can't live without money...tell me, does the dalai lama need money? did mother theresa need money? did Gauthama need money? Are they any less of a person because they don't make loads of green? So, what's so important about money?
You know what I think? I think we should all take a big deep breath and sit down. We should clear opur fucked up heads and think about what we're doing. Think about the way we are living our lives. I think that the things we do in life, in the long run, will amount to nothing. But that's not so bad, cause it shows us something else, that life is all about the now and here, that we should live our lives to the fullest every single moment.
And what does living life mean? Earning money, gaining power? no...To me, its about doing the things that make you happy most of all, the thing that gives us a sense of purpose, to have meaning in other's lives. Its about spending time with the people we love, making each other happy, while not causing harm. We should treat everyone else like our brothers and sisters, no matter who they are, cause they will treat us the same way. We should turn off the fucking news and internet, go outside, hang out with friends and read books and go bike riding. Fuck wars, damn power hungry demons, to hell with money and religion... we should live to love and love to live. Let's not hurt other people, shall we? let's not hurt ourselves, let's not tell others how to live their lives, let's try to respect others, let's try to make each other happy, let's try to spend our lives living for the people we love rather than for ourselves. Lets at least try to mean something special to someone else, if nothing more

I feel at peace inside, even at times when I'm faced with problems and trouble. It's part of finally discovering my destiny and direction. A simple thing could do so much. I spent a year and a half in misery, trying to decide and making myself depressed along the way. I still have problems externally, but if i ever were to be ready, i guess i am now.
I feel good again about myself, and what I'm doing, as well as trying to do.

Ok, I know it's been awhile. Not that I have been busy, but the thought of writing soemthing for my journals kept escaping my mind when I'm online. Well, I'm back anyway, and I've got plenty to talk about. Where shall I start, eh? Well, the best place would be the best and most important thing that has happened to me recently. You know how much of trouble I had been going through all this while trying to decided what I'm going to do after completing my current studies, right? Well, guess what...I have finally made up my mind. I trust to have found the perfect route, path, whatever you wanna call it for myself. The Liberal Arts, a degree program that involves credit transfer to US universities. Its an excellent course for me because for once, I get to learn, all the subjects that I want to learn and the foundations of subjects that might come in handy, including Law, economics, business, and the more fun ones like acting and music. Its gonna be fun.