It's very likely that many of us will never be able to achieve our dreams. Our lives may never go according to plan, that's the way things are unfortunately. Some of us won't even be given a chance to strive for the things we want most in life, be it love, money, profession, or whatever. A few of us try our hardest to help others who to achieve their goals and dreams. We support, encourage or take even more active roles in others lives to make sure they are given their shot at glory. Even that, sadly, might not be enough. The reasons are plentiful and on most occassions, it is a multitude of factors that leads to a person's failure at achieving something. So, what does one do when they know that there is nothing that can be done to help? To me, there is nothing else to do but to keep trying anyway. Because we love each other. We never give up on ourselves or each other, otherwise life would be meaningless.
Then there are the very rare people who do succeed in living their dreams, seeing their greatest aspirations achieved. What is the difference between them and the rest of us? well, many things really, but a very large factor is commitment and passion. The problem here is that though most of us dream and aspire, we rarely find ourselves being able to give ourselves completely up to striving towards these ambitions. It is because we are afraid that we might lose and find ourselves with nothing left, so we always tend to hold something back. We're unable to realize that this little things we keep in reserve, or our backup plans, or whatever we call them, might just be the very reason we aren't able to reach the top. We think we are not good enough, and this is one of the biggest problems... self-doubt. True, sometimes, the outlook is just so darned bleak that even the most self-confident among us can be broken down. I know it is a lot easier said than done, but really, there is no other way to do it. Self-doubt will destroy us eventually, in worse ways than we could possibly imagine.
I have always believed that it much better to fail having tried our very best than never having tried at all or simply being half-hearted about it. I think..no, I'm pretty sure that I will always be giving myself full-heartedly to the things I'm passionate about. (like the love of my life) hahaha.
I can't expect people to actually take me seriously, because that's just the way people are, hypocritical, cynical, and jsut plain boring. I mean, come on, you don't start living and trying to make a difference, no one's gonna remember you. if you're okay with that, then fine, go ahead living your dull, pathetic daily lives. For the rest of you who want to be remembered, who want to be heard loud and proud, then give in to who you are completely and don't hold anything back.

It is normal for a person's life to be riddled with ups and downs. There is no point in complaining about it, we just accept it and get on with it. My life has been full of ups and downs for most of it. Lately, I've been having quiet a bit of high and a bit of low. The higs include a newfound self-confidence, a new and special friend, as well as a reunion with an old one. The lows happen to be few and far between, mostly involving college and the ilk.
Something unusual happened to me this week. I discovered something very important, though I'm not entirely at liberty to say it here. Not yet, anyway, for I must see it through first.

Further

Tonight as usual we start to fight,
Just like every other damn night,
truth is, try as we might,
We can never do what's right

I'm telling you now so listen up,
I'm just too sick and fed up,
we can try but we're out of luck,
think our time is already up.

we used to love every moment,
that we spent with each other,
now we can't even see eye to eye,
you're just drifting further.

This World, My Song

I'm looking at this song I worte,
while sitting around this little studio,
I know these words are my own,
this wasn't where i wanted them to go,

i think i'm disillusioned with it all,
materialism and greed permeates us all,
leading us only to our doom and fall,
my song is a desperate call

chorus
i think our world is running out of time,
or is it just us runnin out of love

Ignorance and selfishness breeds damnation,
taking us into complete disintegration,
this is our hypocritical cynical nation,
and its all because of television

chorus

Never Know

Why should I listen to you?
preaching about what i should do,
you think you know what i go through,
i know my life better than you

don't tell me what's right for me,
i doubt you're satisfied or happy,
you don't know what i want,
you can never know what i truly want.

stop telling me what is at stake,
don't tell me my life is desecrated,
i know I'm not perfect
but i am learning everyday.

Doughnut Girl

She wipes her hands on her coffe-stained towel,
there is a frown on the face of the doughnut girl,
i bet she's wondering where are all the customers,
well, hey, don't look too far, doughnut girl.

reach down into my pocket, smile, there's a dollar note,
feel like i might just treat myself to a doughnut,
and the pretty young girl in the pretty uniform,
maybe i just might try and make somebody's day today.

She says,
"Excuse me, welcome, would you like something?"
"Or are you just here to see me?"
Well, she leans forward and I speak,
Couldn't it be both?

She takes off her cap and lets down her hair,
dimple on her left cheek, a face so fair,
flashe a brilliant smile at the onl guy in the place,
makes me feel like i never wanna leave this place.

Here I am

All the times I needed you to see,
were all the times i kept looking away,
when my hurts and pain wnt in so deep,
you never ever seemed to be there,

no, you'd rather talk about the weather,
and all the things that didn't really matter,
and every passing moment you slip further,
instead of trying to make things better,

But Here I am,
still hoping you'd come back,
hoping you'd change so we can be,
what we used to be......

there is a wound between the two of us,
one that will never heal, even with time,
it grows with every hit, every fight,, every curse,
one that tells us its already our time.
chorus

hoping you'd heal us,
heal the pain tearing us apart,
prove to them we can hold on,
but then again, hope is gone

Unbuilt

After the times we never thought we'd see,
these days they linger momentarily,
inside our lives we're only starting to cave in,
but there's still a part of us that won't give in,

coz we know tomorow is just around the corner,
and redemption is always becoming closer..

you can take, all we ever built up,
you can break, all we're building up,
you can never bring us down

confidence no more stronger than we thought,
our days growin shorter, not much worth fighting for,
yet we all look for a little bit more,
so we can keep trudgin on til dawn.

pre-chorus..chorus

Cranial homicide

we keep runnin in circles,
not really goin anywhere
keep stumblin at every corner,
just don't seem to care

can't keep on ignorin,
signs we have been shown,
can't keep on fallin,
at every rock that was thrown

we gotta keep believin we can win,

come on,come on, come on,
we can't keep givin in,
som on, come on, com on,
we must keep on fightin

we may be dead an broken but we're still alive....

Ourselves

We never imagined all of this would come to pass,
never did we think that we would have to take this test,
because everytime i sit and wait for you to come,
take me away from this painful dark dream,

and we can take another step in this unknown path,
change our stars, take a stride, erase our past,
because we know now, we have so much time,
to be as one and build our lives,

chorus,
then again, we're both broken,
we know we're losing ourselves,
and we're lonely now,
we have lost ourselves

can i hold on to your hand now?
i'm araid if I let go, I'll go blind....
everybody's telling me i must change my ways...
but without you i can't survive another day

we know we're broken,
when we're apart from love,
only one things true,
i can't live without you

You're a Hooker, I'm Jack The Ripper

Just know, wherever you're hiding,
whichever corner you're penned in,
I'm seeking you out!!!!!!

Just know, whatever you're doing,
whatever mess you got yourself in,
I'm seeking you out!!!!!!!
I can smell you, hear you, every single beat of your heart is like thunder in fast forward,
Every sound you make, every step you take, every breath you inhale,
I'M ON TO YOU!!!!!

just know, whoever you are telling,
wherever you are runnin,
I'm seeking you out!!!!

I can smell your fear,
I can taste you here,
I can feel you near,
I'm coming for you, dear..

Stars

So many exits, but i keep walking around,
everytime I'm lookin up, find myself fallin down,
feels like I'm on a fucked up merry-go-round,
with a face of a creep, the scary face of a clown

coz that's all i feel, in this time, all i see,
they keep pushing me, choking me, abusin me,
i still keep runnin, strugglin to keep my dignity,
there is nothin here, failure consumes me

and now i'm stuck here, looking for my answers,
to figure out how I can make things better,
in this merry-go-round i may be stuck forever,
and i'll never grow up to be a bad mother fucker

Bleed

locked away ina dusty atic,
buried under years of memories,
it is a place deep in my head,
where she rules as queen,

a spiderweb of tangles and feelings,
she brings mein the deep,
everything else is inconsequential,
i end up feeling bestial.

chorus,
do you liek to see me bleed?
and watch as every drop falls,
on my blood you feed,
burn me to ash in the end

black widow of armageddon,
the armagedon called me,
residing in mysoul,
watching,w aiting as i grow old,

chorus

please end this, please end this, before you can no longer see me.

Freak,Outcast,Misfit

feelin the ultra-super medication in your veins,
numbin your nerves as you try to stay sane,
shutting out the voices around you in vain,
a whisper becomes a scream in your head,

every broken soul out there alone,
enduring another day in the dark, forlorn,
trying so hard to fit in, conform,
risk jeopardising your own,

freak, outcast, misfit,
you don't fit in,
you're not alone,
i'm just like you.

so much time locked up in your shell,
pretending as if everything is fine,
when in fact you contemplate taking your own life,
laughin in the face of death just before you die

chorus,

for now, forget who you are,
forget everything but here and now,
there is only you and me

i don't have a clue as to why the bloody stinking hell i can never seem to log in to this darned website!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

so,things are a bit slow lately... figures since i don't really get much of an opportunity to come here and type stuff, seeing how this whole shitty broadband system is screwed up and all. heh..probably be typing not too often so don't say i didn't warn you.
as if anyone actually reads this stuff...
so, what's ben happening with my life lately? well, i feel kinda chatty so maybe i might reveal a little bit of dirt. What kinda dirt...? the kind that makes people who think they know me go all "What??!!" There are plenty....dirt, that is
I am a weird, twisted, ultimately good person. Confusing? let me explain. no, better yet...let me tell you about me. I'm a guy who trusts in love as a faith. I'm a sucker for adrenaline rushes... the jump off a fucking cliff with a parachute kind. I like..no, i enjoy wild, twisted and naughty sex... anyone got a problem with that? i don't hurt anyone...never have, never will. not my style. I live my life a step at a time and the only thing that matters is what my gut tells me. I'm the luckiest guy on the planet coz i found true love...just haven't quite located her physical position yet(that's a whole different story, i ain't gonna tell it here). i love the environment, you know life and all that...got great appreciation for it, though i don't really give a fuck about god..I got a thing for words.. i write like a madman, without a fucking care in the world. Not very fancy lingustically..just a helluva lot of honesty going into my works.
so,make your own conclusions..I'm a outta here