Often during the course of these past few months, I have felt so lost and confused... as if the very ground beneath my feet might just crack and dissapear into a void of nothingness. Nothing felt certain. Everything I have ever believed in had been tested so badly, that i felt drained and powerless. At times, I even wondered if this was worth the effort... that maybe I should simply give in and turn back to the ways of the modern world. Throwing away all that I hold dear in my heart, everything that meant something to me. Even though in my heart I was aware that it would be the end of me.

I did not understand how these things have come to pass, how we have let ourselves fall so low into...

More than anything, faith is what I needed to rekindle my spirit. Faith that all is not lost... that I do have a purpose and that I must strive to fulfil it.

It is not the fear of failure which haunts me, but the fear that i may never be good enough to even try. That I might not get a chance. There is no knowledge of what time is left to me, but i know that i must decide with what I do have.

Something has changed now... an event that marks a turning point in my life. The fear and confusion has been lifted away, for I remember now all of that which matter most to me. I remember who I am and what i am here to do.

I needed to believe that there is something left that is worth fighting for, something good and pure. Now, my hope and faith have been returned to me, stronger than ever before and I shall not falter under the face of adversity. True, there is still uncertainty about this path that I choose, but I know now that I'm doing the right thing. I have always believed in true love, soemthing purer than anything else. Love that is unconditional,love that is beyond definiton. The type of love that happens between the truest of friends and partners. I was losing hope about its existance... except for the voice inside me which kept it alive. It may seem rare and non-existant at times, but it is nonetheless there. I believe in it now... and I will continue my fight for it. Whatever else happens to me, i will always remain true to my faith and I shall always be the Guardian.