I'm scared... maybe terrified. My life is beginning to unravel and fall apart, and i feel like the ground underneath me is dissipating....like I'm standing on thin ice and below me is an endless dark well of dark murky void. Slowly, my sense of personal security is deteriorating and my future is filled with so much uncertainty. I'm being forced to face problems that i've never faced before and also to make decisions that will alter my life forever...in quick succesion. My mind is never at peace, except when I'm in Allry's arms, and my thoughts are full of dread and fear. What hope is left I don't know but it is all that is keeping from going insane or worse.

I'm afraid. And I feel so alone. I hyave friends...but I don't know if they'll ever understand what I'm going through, even if in my heart I know they will try their best. All my hope now lies with Allry and our love. We have been through a lot together and always our love has kept us safe and guided us. But things are getting worse now, and the problems we are facing are not singular but a multitude. I'm not losing my faith in our love... that will never happen. I'm just worried about the kind of decisions that we'll be forced to make soon. And I'm worried that Allry might get hurt somehow and that's something that I will never be able to stand.

I'm terrified.