So many feelings inside me, most of which I do not understand,
All of them affecting my judgement and conscience,
showing me things I don't want to see,
Things I will never be able to understand,
Filling me with hate and the craving for vengeance.

I try not to pretend,
But pretend is all I can,
Because the real me inside,
Just won't survive.

The real me deep within,
Deep underneath my skin,
Is so much different,
from this shell I wear.

I've set up so many lies,
to protect myself,
In fear od harsh judgement,
and the shadow of shame.

I try not to hide,
all these feelings I have,
but it's like fighting the tide,
of an enormous wave.