Upon Stained Shallows

I have lost count of the times when I have mentioned how important it is for us to examine ourselves. Repeatedly. The only reason I do it is because we rarely do so. It is so frustrating to see how we almost always tend to look for answers from others. There is this frightening ease with which we point our fingers accusingly to everyone else except ourselves. Even the most ignorant among us seem to be highly skilled at the art of blaming, or maybe their ignorance is their source of the behavior.

It is dangerous to say the least. Not just to ourselves, but to others as well. I wish, at times, that I could grab each person and scream at their faces to just LOOK at themselves for a moment, before they open their mouths or raise their fingers. LOOK at all that they are risking. Why is it so hard for us to just shut up and observe instead? There is so much we can learn, so much we can experience and understand, if we only know how to listen, feel, sense, taste, and hear. We can gain so much more when we listen compared to when we talk. There is so much we can absorb simply by staying quiet and paying attention to everything around us, instead of being so bloody self-absorbed and noticing only ourselves.

Young people seem to be the worse in this sense. Whether it is teens or young adults, we just seem to not care about anything except ourselves. Being selfish is bad enough because it is insensitive and hurtful at times, but looking at it from a deeper perspective, being selfish is quite possibly the worst thing we could do to ourselves. By being selfish, we are hurting ourselves in a really bad way. By being self-absorbed, we are literally cutting off any chance we have of actually LEARNING and GROWING. In other words, we are retarding ourselves. When we forget how to observe, we stagnate.

It is not easy to get rid of that self-absorbency of ours. It is not something obvious; like all such problems, it subtle and insidious. It exists in the little things that we do and say. It shows itself every time we react too quickly at a comment about us, every time we instinctively think of ways to benefit ourselves, every time we channel our anger at someone or something else, and every time we lift that painful finger accusingly. The biggest challenge, which is also the first step in ridding ourselves of this disease, is to hold back. We need to push back that selfish thoughts that crop up, no matter how tempting it might be. Reserving judgment and withholding blame are just as important. The second step, which is relatively easier, is to find peace with ourselves. This is very much the source of ALL our problems; our lack of inner peace. We may think we are angry at a lot of things, that stress is due to a lot of factors, but honestly, there is only one reason. We are angry with ourselves because we are unable to find any peace within. There are too many worries, too many unanswered questions and doubts, and dissatisfaction with what we have. I do not have any solution for this; I only know that it helps me when I tell myself that everything I need is already there and everything else is a bonus. The trick, I guess, is to come to terms with what it means to need something. Sometimes, it is easy to want something so bad that it becomes an apparent need, especially when everyone else has it but we do not.

It is precisely at times like this that we need to really delve deep and figure out what is it we really need. This is the important part; I cannot stress this enough.

THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU HAVE INSTEAD OF WHAT YOU DON'T FUCKING HAVE.

Think about those who DON'T have what you have. Learn to understand the difference between needs and wants and then maybe we might find that inner peace that we lack.

Funny how this post seems so similar to the one before...